Introduction
Getting married can be the most exciting time in your life. Every since you were a little girl, you played house imagining the kind of man you would marry; how many children you were going to have; and what kind of home you were going to make. I know you remember playing house—going through all the motions of a day in your happily-ever-after-life. Remember how good you felt dressing your baby dolls, cleaning your home, and kissing your pretend—well-paid, handsome husband. Well, I hate to break it to you, but there is a whole lot more to consider in creating this happy home. So, brace yourself. What I am going to share with you will better prepare you to create the home life of your dreams.
Now, I know you’re saying, “That’s old school dreaming, Dr. Nixon.” Okay, let’s make the plan a bit more contemporary. Today’s little girl sees herself as the professional woman—attorney, doctor, or business owner. Her professional—make-believe—husband is a strong, well groomed, very handsome, physically fit, child-free, disease-free and equal partner. How’s that? Even if neither of these scenarios fit your dream, you have one of your own. And more than likely that dream is equally as euphoric as the ones that I painted. You know why? Because in the paradigm of marriage, is always a very beautiful dream. And honestly, women are the ones dreaming the dream. Men tend to be very well grounded about what the commitment of marriage is really about. But somehow we women don’t seem to get the reality of marriage. Now understand me, this is not an accident: TV, magazines, movies, romance books, mass media, institutionalized religion all have done an outstanding job of selling us the dream. And because it feels good to our left brains, we buy into it without reading the very, very fine print. So we don’t get the message about what we have to sacrifice to be in that glorious number of the married ones. The most realistic education consists of the usual disclaimers: “no relationship’s perfect,” or “everybody has problems.” Well, allow me to break both of those ideas down just a bit more. Both statements are true, but if we do just a little more homework, we’ll discover that there is possibly a winning scenario in it for us. However winning comes with a price; we’ll have to ask some very hard questions of what seemed like a good prospect, and we may have to walk away from a relationship, or our prospect may decide to walk away from us.
The real deal is that most of us don’t do our home work before we get married, we just ask “where do I sign;” then afterwards we remember all the reality hints that we willfully overlooked because we were in love. Yes, you know exactly the overlooked items I’m talking about—his never answering his cell phone in your presence; never having time for what was important to you; not possessing a major credit card—little stuff like that. Oh, I’m sorry—I’m being sarcastic and this is a serious matter. Okay then, let’s get serious. The following pages contain a relationship business plan workbook designed for you to fill in the blanks. You may complete it alone or with your partner. Either way, you’ll find that you have a lot more to discuss than how pretty your eyes are, or how your nose wrinkles when you laugh, or how funny he is. You may discover that you have not discussed any of the things that will make your marriage a happy (or unhappy) one. The relationship plan is the memo that you never got. It’s contains all of the questions that women (for the most part) have not been asking their fiancé and vice verse. The plan will help you make sound decisions about the person you are about to marry and the relationship that will become your marriage. After going through this book you’ll know that you have been adequately educated—even forewarned. Happily ever after comes with a price. Your investment in this book is the down payment on that dream of yours. Of course, you have to follow through and do the work!
